Score update

I received  FAR score, its 70, got no emotion left and I am so numbed. I am exactly standing in the same position as I was last year. It feels depressing to think that way. May be I should lower my optimism a little and focus on productivity. I know, I am going self critical but I think I need to face my problems rather than numbing my pain.  I am determined as ever but I will be focusing more on my self development and will be critically watching my actions. I will try my best. It reminds me the quote

“Doing your best means never stop trying.”

Now what? Hmm...

 How do I change?

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.

-Og Mandino

JK Rowling: The fringe benefits of failure

My failure in REG by one percent made me very depressed. I tried my best not to analyze but I was a bit down. I watched this video at that moment and it inspired me a lot. J.K.Rowling is one of my favorite authors and I present you her video at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association.

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

Please click here for the text of the above speech

The emotional roller coaster...

Since I wrote FAR Exam, I went through a big enormous emotional roller coaster. I was pretty tired after this exam and when I was out of Prometric center, I felt very weak and slept for long hours. It was like I didn't had energy, even to move my hands. I slept long like REALLY LONG.. I hit bed around 6 in the evening and I got up around 8 in the morning.I went to see my doctor and He said,'"there is no disease for the symptoms you just mentioned , If you feel sleepy and tired, sleep".

I was little depressed about my performance but recovered early with friend's support. I went to shopping, movies , ate hot Chinese food,  and for two days believe me I completely forgot about exams and for the first time after I filed application with Nasba I felt free.

I am not sure whether this feeling spoiled me or gave me a hope of what life will be after I complete my exams. (If we look at the brighter side..)but the nagging feeling of not yet completing this exam follows us like a shadow. And friends if we can experience the feeling of freedom even for a while.. it instigates us.. Yes, I want to feel free. I want to do things I postponed for a long time. I know they are not that important but sometimes little pleasures of life spice up this journey.

But let me confess this actually made it hard  for me to open books again, but I will get over. Two days of depression and sickness and then fun time and then epic fail and now back to books.. Really the best and worst emotional roller coaster.

Felt Inspired..

My sister is my best friend and I call her and do all emotional vampirism on her till I feel better at times.. Today I called her and she heard calmly and really didn't said much, other than saying, " Its ok, you will do it next time. You already read every thing and did your hard work. Just don't analyze it, revise and you will do it fine.Confidence is a product of hard work, which you did, so don't worry about it".
 And then she told me about my niece, My niece is a two year old and an energy ball. A true definition for terrible two's, She never stops even for a second. We get fresh cleaning stuff just in a blink. Yesterday she played with a glass vase and broke it and it made a sharp deep cut on her hand and she was rushed to hospital. My sister told me,When the doctor was wrapping bandage on her hand, my niece was helping doctor to wrap it around with her other hand. She was not even thinking about her pain or the bleeding hand. She was taking the bandage and helping the doctor do the wrapping and was in the moment enjoying what she found amusing.
I felt so different when I heard this. Being a child is a blessing, like they don't care what others are thinking or whats happening around or What is the expected behavior out of them? They find their own happiness. They can make their pains their amusement.
It sounded so mature to be in the moment and take it as it comes and find beauty and happiness in what is happening around. I pray god to keep my heart and mind just like a child and keep me happy, enjoying every moment of life... Glad that I started unlearning on how I was taught to react and I give a damn to how others want me to react.
May God bless you with a heart like a child and find always happiness in the moment you live..

I wish...

I wish I can tell you that I passed REG.. Just saw the score.. I got 74 ... I don't know whom to blame.. But 74 left me with no emotion and I don't even know how to react to this..coz I lost the BEC credit. Feeling empty .. Thinking about re scoring.. Don't know whether it works.. Posts on CPAnet says it is totally useless.. Can make a joke saying 'Epic fail' and laugh but looking at the coming months and see myself in preparation for two more exams is like .. May be telling myself ' When the going gets tough the tough gets going' helps. I don't want any superlatives for 'tough'. Hope this new year brings an end to this exam preparation process and helps me to get a good job and a better life. Ahhh... it pains now..

Thanks a lot to all my friends who supported me in my tough time and helped me to stay motivated..

DIY - Index / Sticky flags - Tutorial

I am a big fan of DIY Stuff... I love arts and crafts and enjoy doing small projects. (Well our busy exam prep. leaves less time for big projects) We can do small stuff that can nourish our creative side and to keep it motivated. I used to do T shirt reconstructions, Painting, knitting and basic sewing.... Well this small project doesn't involve all that I mentioned. This is a very small project and is very less time consuming and its a part of 'Trash to treasure' projects and a useful tutorial for CPA Students..

This tutorial is about making our own Index tabs and Sticky flags.They cost around $5 a pack and that amount can stay in to your pocket and added to it, they are custom made.. So lets get into it...

These are the things you need:

1. Junk mail / Free magazines / Free news papers / Old magazines or news papers.(what ever is available). 
2. Scissors 
3. Pencil
4. Marker / Sketch pen (optional)
5. Clear tape 
6. A quarter dollar  coin / Stencils (optional)

 Those free magazines, catalogs, News papers are filled with quality colorful paper and that is our raw material for this. I used free magazine covers, They have quality paper with colorful pages and they can withstand usage. So lets start..

Step 1: Use a Quarter (or any stencils If you have) to draw shapes of your choice. You can skip this step and can just cut strips of paper .

Notes: Draw shapes on the back side of the paper you want to cut. You can choose beautiful colorful designs or simply plain colors of the paper (If you want to write on it later)

Step 2: Cut those shapes with scissors, and stick them to a clear tape which is one inch or a little more depending up on the shape and size you prefer.

(Notes: Choose a theme, like if it is for indexing cut them all in same shape or color, If it is for important topics choose color red to quickly access those pages, yellow for chapter names and blue for high scoring topic )

Step 3: Transfer them to the book according to the plan and save those unused paper cuts in a zip-lock cover for future use.

Notes: Stick those paper cuts on the open side so that it comes out when we turn the tape and stick it to the book. Keep your hands clean to avoid staining the tape.

 Step 4 : Use your markers to write your codes/ names..

Step 5: Finish the rest of the process repeating the above steps with all color flags and index tabs...

Hope this small tutorial helps. Send me a big smile if it helps... : )